Independence

People say that you should treasure your childhood and adolescene. I do agree with that, but I have to admit, being an adult is nice too. Today I chose to ditch a class in order to study for an exam I have for another class. It's a wonderful feeling, to make a choice and know that -- in college at least -- there is no one to jump all over you and demand to know where you were and why no one was informed of your actions. I decided what the best option would be and then followed through with it. End of story.

It's not to say that independence should be used as an excuse for irresponsibility -- just because I can doesn't mean I should. In this instance though, I looked at my priorities and proceeded from there. Taking an extra hour and a half to study for an exam I'm not completely prepared for makes more sense to me than attending a class that makes allowances for absences anyway. Now that I think about it, this is the first class I've missed all semester. I could have missed more and it would have been fine. As it stands, I've chosen to go classes -- not an obligation, but a choice. Attending class is important to me, but if something I feel is more important presents itself, then I hope that I will act according to my priorities.

If people would rather not attend class, then that's great. If they feel it's important to never miss a class, then that's great too. The beauty is that it's up to the individual to make a decision. It's the independence that leads to growth or detriment, whichever you prefer. I'm thankful that I was raised the way I was, because it has taught me to think for myself and consider what I feel is important. It's why I'm taking the classes I'm taking. It's why I'm going to this school. It's why I go to the church I do and spend time investing in the friendships I've maintained and started. It's why I'm dating Ben and why I enjoy doing certain things.

I understand that more significant decisions are coming, ones that carry much more weight than ditching a class; I just hope that I can make good ones and not abuse the independence I have.

Incredibly encouraged

Today I value Caitlin Moore.

I had the privilege of getting lunch with Cait on my break. After being indecisive for a while, we chose Chick-Fil-A. I have always been drawn to Caitlin, but today I was actually able to sit down with her one-on-one and just talk and listen and be friends with her. We engaged in what I feel was meaningful conversation, and it left me feeling incredibly encouraged. Her words gave me hope for the future I am aspiring to and comfort in the place I find myself now, and those things are invaluable to me. Lunches like that are what the Body of Christ is supposed to look like, I think -- honest, edifying, legitimately interested in the other person.

Caitlin has been a huge blessing to me and to the Student Ministry at ncc. She really cares about developing relationships with the leaders and the students and supporting Zach in his role as a youth pastor. She exhibits the qualities of the wife and leader that I hope to be someday.

Fiction

There's something magnetic about a good story. I am introduced to people with no obligation to introduce myself to them. There is an opportunity to know someone intimately without being vulnerable yourself (without being vulnerable to the characters, at least). I am brought into a time and place different than my own, learning another culture's ways without having to participate in them (although sometimes I wish that I could). It's also refreshing to listen to a voice richer than what most of the academia I'm exposed to offers. I curl up on a chair in the library or in the corner of my couch and just read, falling into another world away from my own, which is cliche, but everyone feels that way about reading at some point.

I'm currently revisiting Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game, and it's just as good as I remember it being five years ago. I have loved the process of getting to know the characters, especially Ender and Valentine, who are interestingly complex, especially when I remind myself that they are not older than 10. Ender does the things he doesn't want to do, the things which spawn from the treatment he has been given all of his life. Valentine loves Ender deeply, but her love has become so removed that she hates herself for how she has forgotten. I love reading about the games, the battleroom. If the battleroom and quidditch were real, I would want to try playing them, at least once.

I think that I appreciate the writing more now that I'm older. The third-person narrative peeks into Ender's thoughts in an especially interesting way, and I really enjoy the vocabulary, the sentence composition, the attention to sensory intake. I would include an excerpt, but I don't want to carelessly choose one for the sake of this blog. It can wait.

I have so many novels on the bookshelf in Marcus' room just waiting to be read -- All the King's Men, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Frankenstein, Emma, The Kite Runner... just to name a few. I want to have the time to read each and every one of them. Maybe it's just a matter of making time.